


Sanders -A Heathers AU

by genderqueer_turtle



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Heathers AU, Janus is Heather D, Logan is Veronica, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Murder, Patton is Heather M, Patton is nonbinary, Remus is JD, Roman is Heather C, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Virgil is Martha, Will probably add tags as I go, Yes people will die, and sexual talk, basically everyone is gay, overdose attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderqueer_turtle/pseuds/genderqueer_turtle
Summary: Logan Sawyer's life is turned upside down his first week of senior year. He ends up becoming one of the most popular kids at school, The Sanders, at the expense of everything he has stood for. And he meets a mysterious and attractive guy who Logan is drawn too.But there's a price for everything Logan does in the name of popularity and love.(i'm really bad at summaries, I'm sorry. It's just a Heathers AU)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 28
Kudos: 26





	1. Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Cast List:  
> Veronica - Logan  
> JD - Remus  
> Heather C - Roman  
> Heather D - Janus  
> Heather M - Patton  
> Kurt - himself  
> Ram - himself  
> Martha - Virgil  
> Miss Fleming - Character!Thomas
> 
> notes: Patton is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Also, Logan's diary entries are italicized, to make it easier to read them as his writing.

Logan Sawyer, a senior at Westerburg High, sat in his usual spot on the staircase next to his locker. It was his first day of the school year, and he could already tell it was going to be a terrible one. Within two seconds of being at school, he had already been shoved around three times and cussed at more than he cared to keep track of. All around him, teenagers called other teenagers names. Freak, slut, loser, lard ass. If it was a rude word, it was said in those halls. 

Logan grabbed his diary out of his backpack and pulled out a pen. He started writing. 

_ September 1st, 1989. _

_ I believe that I’m a good person. In fact, I believe that there’s good in everybody.But I look around at all these people I grew up with and have known all my life and I just wonder, what happened?  _

Logan thought back to his childhood, remembering baking cookies with his friends, and that one time someone tried to eat glue in kindergarten. How he would play tag with the other kids during recess. His mind focused back onto the present. He watched as someone shoved another person, how a girl got called “white trash”, how everyone was so cruel to people they used to love to spend time with. 

Logan looked back at his diary and continued to write, his neat handwriting covering the page in seconds.

_ High school is hell, almost as if it’s the ThunderDome or something like that. I count the days until I graduate. I dream of getting my acceptance letter for college, knowing how much of a paradise it will be compared to this. _

Logan shut his diary and slid it back into his backpack, his pen going into the side pocket. He got up and began the dangerous trek down the halls towards his first class. He was so focused on making it to his classroom without gaining attention of any of the bullies, that he didn’t notice the boy run up to him.

“Hey Logan!” the boy said, tapping Logan’s shoulder. Logan shouted slightly, surprised by tap. 

Logan turned around to be greeted by his best friend since childhood. Virgil Dunnstock, a quiet and sweet boy smiled up at him. Virgil had a rough time in high school, teased for being on the pudgy side of his physical appearance. He was often called fat and a pig. Logan knew it was because Virgil’s anxiety led him to eat a lot, as a sort of comfort hobby, but nobody else in the school knew or cared. Instead, Virgil was relentlessly body shamed and mocked. But he did his best not to affect his outlook on life, trying his best to stay positive. 

“Are you ready for the movie tonight?” Virgil asked. 

“You bet I am. You’re getting the popcorn, right?” Logan asked. Virgil nodded.

“I even picked out the movie. ‘The Princess Bride!’” Virgil said excitedly, practically jumping up and down. 

“Don’t you have that memorized by now?” Logan asked, laughing a little.

Virgil shrugged. “What can I say? I like knowing the ending. It’s comforting to me.” 

Suddenly, a hand reached over and smacked Virgil’s bag out of his hand. 

“Virgil dumptruck!” The owner of the hand shouted. A muscular boy stood with his friend, another boy who looked almost exactly like him, both wearing identical shit eating grins. 

The first guy, the one who knocked Virgil’s backpack, was Ram Sweeny. Ram was the football team’s linebacker, and the school’s resident dick. He took joy in picking on any kid who so much as breathed in his direction, especially the younger and smaller students. Or students who couldn’t defend themselves, such as Virgil. 

The other boy is Kurt Kelly, best friend to Ram. He was the quarterback of the football team, as well as the smartest guy on the football team, which wasn’t saying much. Being the smartest sports player at Westerburg was kind of like being the tallest dwarf, in Logan’s opinion. 

“Hey, pick that up, right now,” Logan said, standing as tall as he could, trying to protect his friend. 

Ram stepped up to meet Logan, snarling. “Are you actually talking to me skank?” He asked.

Logan gulped, burying his fear. “Yeah, I am. That’s my friend you’re picking on. Who gave you the right to act like this? With brains like yours, you’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.” 

Ram stepped even closer to Logan, Kurt practically pressed up against his friend, snarling over Ram’s shoulder.

“You look like a nerd, you know that?” Kurt said, indicating to Logan’s glasses. Ram shoves Logan in the chest, pushing him just enough to get him out of personal space. 

The two football players walked away, off to torment some other kid before class started. 

“Thanks Logan,” Virgil said, gathering his books that had fallen out of his bag.

“Don’t worry about it. You better head off to class, we’ll meet up for the movie after school,” Logan said, helping Virgil up. 

“See you then!” Virgil said, running off down the hall, careful not to miss his class.

Logan headed back down the hallway, the sound of people complaining and shouting curse words echoing. 

The bell rang before he made it to his classroom. When he saw a teacher, Mr Fleaming to be exact, walking down the hall, Logan ducked into the men’s bathroom so that he could hide in a stall. What he did not expect to find were the three most popular kids in school, also seeming to be hiding in the bathroom.

Logan slid into the first stall before any of the other people in the bathroom saw him. 

The three most popular teens in school, the Sanders. The first one, Patton Sanders, was a small teen, with a mop of light curly hair and bright blue eyes framed by large, round glasses. They were the head of the cheerleading team and came from a wealthy family. Their father sold engagement rings. Patton was standing in front of the mirror, brushing their hands over their skirt, clearing it of wrinkles. 

The second member of the group was Janus Sanders. He was busy in a stall, puking his guts out. Janus was a hard person for Logan to read. While Logan could easily figure out Patton, Janus had no discernible personality. He ran the yearbook committee, but that was basically it. Logan was sure that he heard that Janus’ mom did pay for him to get cosmetic surgery, but Logan couldn’t remember what it was for. 

“Oh shut up Janus. Bulimia is soo ‘87,” the last person said. This guy was Roman Sanders, the ringleader of the group. Logan could only describe him as a mythic bitch. With his perfect face and ginger waves of hair, everyone wanted to either date or be Roman Sanders. The boy had an attitude about him that demanded respect. His platform boots made him look the part as well, giving him a few extra inches. 

Patton, Janus, and Roman, the three Sanders. The most popular kids in the entire school. While they shared a last name, they were in no way related. No one knew how there happened to be three different Sanders in the same small town, but no one questioned it. 

“Maybe you should go see a doctor, Janus. This can’t be healthy,” Patton said, looking up from their skirt to peer into Janus’ stall. Janus slammed the door shut. 

“Yeah Patton, maybe I should,” Janus said, his voice dripping with annoyance. 

The door to the bathroom swung open, and Mr Fleming walked in. 

“Sanders, Sanders, and Sanders,” he said, disappointed. Patton waved at the teacher, while Janus continued to puke. 

“You must have not heard the bell over all the puking. You’re late for class and I’m afraid that I’ll have to write you three up for a week’s detention.” 

“But Thomas,” Roman said dramatically. “We were simply helping our dear friend Janus.” 

“Not without a hall pass you aren’t. And it’s Mr Fleming, we’re not equals, I’m a teacher.” 

While he was hiding in the stall, listening, Logan had grabbed his diary and quickly wrote a page, silently tearing it out. He stepped out of the stall and spoke up, gathering the attention of everyone in the bathroom.

“Actually, Mr Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee.” Logan lied, handing him the piece of his diary. On it were four names and what looked like Logan’s homeroom teacher’s signature. Mr Fleming studied it for a minute, then shrugged his shoulders and handed the paper back to Logan.

“Okay, just make sure to go to class in time for the second period.” He left the bathroom and Roman Sanders wasted no time in power walking over to Logan and snatching the paper from his hands. 

“This is an excellent forgery,” Roman commented, handing the paper to Patton. “Who are you?” He studied Logan the way a hawk studies his prey, but Logan stood up as straight as he could.

“My name is Logan Sawyer. I crave a boon.” 

Patton mouthed the word ‘boon,’ as if he didn’t know what it meant. Roman just raised an eyebrow, ignoring the sound of Janus continuing to throw up. 

“What boon?” 

Logan took the paper from Patton, slipping it back into his diary. “I want to sit at your table at lunch, just once. No speaking required. If people think you tolerate me, then maybe they’ll leave me alone. I’ll stop getting bullied so much.” Roman went to say something, but Logan cut him off. “Before you answer, just know that I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notices.” 

Janus walked out of the stall, clearly done puking. “What about medical prescriptions?’ he asked.

“Shut up Sanders,” Roman said. Janus shut up, clearly not happy about being told off. 

“You know, for a nerdy little nobody, you’re actually kind of cute,” Roman said, walking to Logan and gently grabbing his face, turning it both ways over and over again. 

“With a small makeover, you could look amazing,” Patton said, pulling a thing of makeup out of their bag.

“Um, I don’t really do the whole makeup thing,” Logan said.

“Calm down,” Janus said. “Don’t be such a wimpy bitch. It’s just a little blush and foundation, as well as a comb to run through that mess of hair you have.” 

“We have all of the first period to give you a makeover, so we have time to make you beautiful,” Roman said, grabbing a brush from Patton Sander’s bag. 

By the time the three Sanders were done, Logan felt like a completely different person. His hair was much neater and his face looked less tired and more like Roman’s, flawless. They had even managed to get a new set of clothes for Logan, though he didn’t know how. A dark blue blazer, which suited Logan perfectly. 

Logan looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. 

“My god, I’m beautiful,” he muttered. 

Roman came over and leaned against the sink. “Hell yeah you are. Oh, and since you’re so good with those little notes, we’ve decided to let you join the group. You’re like an honorary Sander. But we’re going shopping tonight to get you a whole new wardrobe.” 

Logan nodded, knowing that this was his big chance of surviving high school. He had just managed to write his way into the group of popular kids. Today was a beautiful friggin day.


	2. Candy Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan faces his first dilemma as the newest member of the Sanders' group.

Logan had been friends, if that was the right term, with the three Sanders for a week now. Logan was completely aware about the fact that he had been accepted simply because of his ability to get them out of trouble if the situation arose. The morning of his second week of school, he had taken a moment to sit in his favorite spot on the stairs and write in his diary.

_ September 8, 1989. _

_ The week with the Sanders has been the strangest week of my life. It’s like they’ve turned me into a different person. My wardrobe is completely new, not that new clothes are a bad thing, I spend almost every waking moment following around one of them, writing things for them as we go. I missed movie night with Virgil the other week and I feel terrible about it, but what can I do? If I leave the Sanders, not only would I be committing social suicide, I’d have to deal with double the bullying. If I look at hanging out with the Sanders as some sort of job, it becomes easier to deal with. It’s like we work together and our job is being popular and shit. _

Logan put away his diary, and stood up to head to lunch. 

“Hey Logan!” Virgil came up to him, bouncing less than he usually did.

“Um, hey Virgil,” Logan said, acutely aware of the fact that he hadn’t spoken to Virgil since the first day of school.

“You really do look stunning these days,” Virgil said, taking in Logan’s new look, with his dark blue blazer and black shirts that had replaced his old t-shirts. 

“Thank you, but I’m still the same person. I’m still Logan.” 

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” 

“Virgil, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ditch you last week. I just have a lot going on and-”

Virgil interrupted him. “Don’t worry about it, I get it. You’re with the Sanders now.” 

Logan was about to say something when Janus walked up and tugged at his hand.

“Roman needs you at the table, immediately. I ain’t gonna haul your ass over there, so come on.” 

Logan gave an apologetic wave to Virgil as he followed Janus into the cafeteria. They made their way to where Roman was standing next to the Sanders’ usual lunch table. 

“Oh hello beautiful,” Roman greeted Logan. “I need to forge a letter in Ram’s handwriting, think you could do that? Now, you’ll need something to write one, Janus, bend over.” 

“There’s a table right there,” Janus spat. Roman raised a single eyebrow, daring Janus to question him. Janus just sighed and bent over, his back completely straight. 

Logan got out a piece of paper and gently set it on Janus’ back. “What do you want me to write?” 

Roman began to dictate what he wanted the note to say. “Hello beautiful. I’ve been watching you and thinking about us in the old days. I hope you can come to my homecoming party this weekend. Miss you, Ram.” Roman watched as Logan wrote it out.

“Put a little XO at the end after the signature,” he commented as Logan signed it. 

“Who is this for anyways?” Logan asked, writing the xo. 

“I just found out that Ram used to hang out with Virgil Dumptruck,” Roman said, snatching the paper from Logan to inspect it. Janus stood back up and sat on the table, clearly glad that he wasn’t being used as a desk anymore. 

“We all hung out with Virgil, we were kids,” Logan said.

Roman rolled his eyes. “Sure, but not all of us kissed him on the Volleyball court, did we?”

Patton’s face lit up. “Oh that’s right. Ram kissed Virgil Dumptruck. That was gross,” they said.

At that moment, Ram and Kurt walked into the cafeteria and Roman wasted no time to call them over. The two football players came over and waited for Roman to tell them why they were called over here.

“I need you to give this to Virgil Dumptruck for me,” Roman said, handing Ram the note. 

“What? No, do it yourself,” Ram said. He went to open the folded up note but Roman stopped him.

“It’s pretty personal. It would be best if you didn’t read it. I would not be happy, if you know what I mean.” Logan realized that Roman was threatening Ram with social destruction. That’s the thing about being the most popular student at school, if you hate someone, they never get the chance to crawl back from it. Ram’s entire social life rested on whether he read the note or not.

“Whatever. If it’s so personal, have your little note boy take it,” Ram said, handing the note to Logan and walking away, Kurt right on his heels. 

“I guess you can slip it on his lunch tray Logan. Go on,” Roman said. When Logan didn’t move, Roman crossed his arms and huffed. “Why haven’t you gone?” 

“Please don’t make me do this, not to Virgil at least,” Logan begged. 

Janus sighed from his seat at the table. “Oh come on, this will be fun. It will give him matsturbation material that lasts for weeks.” He smirked.

Roman smacked Janus’ arm. “Shut up Sanders.” Janus muttered an apology. 

“Virgil’s been into Ram for almost twelve years now. The moment he realizes this is a prank, it will tear him apart.” Logan had never understood his friend’s crush on the school asshole, but he respected Virgil enough not to tease him about. 

Roman sighed. “Are we gonna have a problem? You’ve come so far, are you actually pussying out on me right now?” 

“You know what, I’m going to give you an option. You can either deliver that note and think of it as your official act of being part of our group, or you can hand it to me, I’ll slap your face off, and then you can say goodbye to any social life you planned on having. So what will it be sweetie?” Roman held out his hand, waiting for Logan to either hand him the note or walk off. 

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Logan said, turning on his heels and walking to where Virgil was standing in the lunch line. He carefully reached and placed the note on Virgil’s tray, being careful not to get caught. Then he ran back to the Sanders’ table, already racked with guilt. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Janus said.

Patton gave Logan a bright smile. “Now that you’re really one of us, we can do all sorts of stuff together. Parties, shopping, getting high and drunk, screwing any guy we want.” 

Logan wondered if that was really Patton’s life, if it was really that shallow. So he just nodded as Patton continued to talk about things they could do. 

“Logan!” Virgil came over, ignoring the three Sanders.

“Logan, you need to see this,” Virgil holds out a slip of paper, the forged note, and shows it to Logan. “Ram invited me to his homecoming party! I told you that there’s still something between us, this proves it!” 

Roman watched, intrigued. He stared at Logan, waiting to see if he would come clean or not.

“That’s amazing Virgil! Color me stoked!” Logan lied through his teeth. Roman nodded and went back to eating his lunch. Virgil left to go finish his lunch.

“See, was that so hard-” Janus began.

“Oh shut up Sanders,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. Janus mumbled an apology, probably his forth one today. 

The lunch bell rang and the three Sanders got out of their seats, headed to class. Logan dragged his feet, guilt crawling through him as he threw out his trash and headed for the door. 

“You shouldn’t let people like that boss you around. Bowing down to diet-coke-heads gets you nowhere. You realize that they’re going to crush that poor boy, right?” A voice said, startling Logan. He looked up to see a new kid standing by the door. 

The new kid was tall and had messy dark hair. He was leaning on the way, his smile one that indicated he knew things that Logan would never know. He wore a block black coat, which Logan thought was interesting, but who was he to judge? He was wearing a blazer to high school. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Logan asked, taking a few steps towards the guy. 

“Clearly you’ve got a soul. You just gotta work harder on keeping it clean. ‘We are all born marked for evil.’” The boy smiled and turned around to leave. 

“Whoa, wait. You can’t just quote Baudelaire at me and then walk away. Come back.” The guy turned back around, facing Logan.

“I didn’t catch your name,” Logan said. 

The boy smirked and Logan felt his heart skip a beat. “I didn’t throw it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> Since the chapters are pretty short, they don't take that much time to write. So I thought why not put out chapter 2 since it's done already and I'm kind of bored? :p  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know your thoughts in the comments, it's always nice to get input.  
> Much love and gratitude,  
> Turtle


	3. Fight For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Ram start a fight with the new kid, which doesn't go the way they planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that basically everyone in the school is gay.

The boy turned back around, leaving Logan alone with his thoughts and gay pining. Sure, Logan had only talked to him for two seconds, and he didn’t know the guy’s name, but Logan knew that he had to know more about this guy. 

As Logan watched the boy go, he didn’t notice Kurt and Ram walk into the cafeteria. The two football players quickly noticed Logan and how he was watching the new kid leave.

“Who does that guy in the jacket think he is?” Kurt asked, pointing to the new kid.

“I don’t know, but Logan is sure into him and his whole mystery boy act,” Ram said. 

Kurt cracked his knuckles. “I say we kick his ass.” He ignored Ram’s protests of how they were too old to be doing this shit as he marched towards the new kid, cutting him off of his path down the hall. 

“Hey sweetheart. How did your girlfriend feel when you moved to Sherwood, Ohio?” Kurt asked mockingly. Practically everybody in Sherwood was gay, it was rare to find a straight kid in high school. Sherwood stood out that way, even if it was just a small, boring town in the middle of Ohio. 

“Hey, doesn’t the cafeteria have a ‘no hets’ rule?” Kurt asked, getting into the new kid’s face.

The invasion of personal space didn’t seem to bother the guy, and if it did, he didn’t show it. “Well, they seem to have an open door policy for assholes,” he said, refusing to break eye contact with Kurt. 

“Grab him,” Kurt said to Ram, who tried to jump the guy. The guy moved out of the way and landed a blow on each of the jocks. Kurt doubled over in pain for a minute, but he got back up and swung at the new kid. 

The sound of fighting pulled students out of classrooms as a crowd gathered around the three boys. Logan ran to the center, pushing through the crowd so he could see who was fighting. 

He stopped, watching the new kid fight both Kurt and Ram without getting hit a single time. The guy seemed to be smiling while dodging, as if he was enjoying it, just a little bit. 

Logan wasn’t a big supporter of violence, especially when it came to high school boys and their pride. But he didn’t feel annoyed or upset that there was a fight, instead he wanted to continue watching them forever. Well, he wanted to continue to watch the new kid forever. 

The guy looked so strong, Logan guessed that he would be able to carry Logan with ease. Even from where Logan stood, he could see the guy’s stomach and muscles peek out from under his shirt and coat. Logan’s mind raced, the rainbow of gay thoughts coming to the front of his mind, demanding attention. 

“I wonder if he would fight for me like that,” Logan muttered to himself. He wanted to walk over, stop the fighting, and make out with this guy in some random hallway. But he knew better. He couldn’t do that.

The nameless new guy knocked both of his attackers to the ground, waiting for them to get back up. They just sat on their asses, breathing heavily, trying to gather themselves and their pride. The new guy watched them for a moment than walked away, ignoring everyone else as he headed off down the hall. 

“God Logan, drool much?” Roman asked, sliding up to Logan. 

“What?” Logan asked, confused.

“You were practically stripping down to your boxers for that new kid.” He laughed, and the other two Sanders laughed as well, mimicking their leader. 

“I was not! Besides, I don’t even know his name.”

* * *

“This is your house?” Roman asked, as the three Sanders stood in front of Logan’s home. They had practically invited themselves over when they had heard that Logan’s family had a croquet set in their backyard. 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?” Logan asked, unlocking the front door. 

“It’s just so, how do I say this? Small. If I were you, I’d keep your boxers on, doesn’t look like you can afford new ones,” Roman said, referring to her comment from earlier about the new kid. Logan rolled his eyes but made sure that none of the Sanders saw him do it. He couldn’t lose everything he had worked for by being part of their little group. 

Logan led the three Sanders to the yard and they played croquet together. Patton tripped over his skirt a few times, but otherwise the game seemed to go smoothly. They only paused to eat dinner, which Roman didn’t stop insulting and calling “poor people’s food”, but Logan remembered to keep his mouth shut. 

“So, you kids have plans for tonight?” Logan’s mom asked.

“Yeah, we have a homecoming party that we’re going to,” Logan said, finishing up his food. 

Roman checked the time. “Speaking of a party, we should be going,” Roman said, standing up and heading to the door. Patton and Janus followed him and Logan quickly said goodbye to his parents before rushing out to follow. 

Logan sat in the front passenger seat, Roman driving the car and Janus mumbling complaints about being put in the back with Patton. 

“You know what we should do before we head to the party,” Roman said, pulling up to a 7-Eleven. “Logan darling, go inside and get us some snacks. Don’t forget the corn nuts, those are my favorite.” 

“BQ or regular?” Logan asked, climbing out of the car.

“BQ!” Roman said as if it was obvious. Logan heard Janus muffle a laugh as he walked to the 7-Eleven. 

Logan grabbed a pack of BQ corn nuts off the shelf and turned to head to the register when he heard the bell of the door ring. He half expected to find one of the Sanders at the door, ready to complain about something. 

But it wasn’t any of the Sanders. Instead, the new kid from earlier that day, the one who had beaten Kurt and Ram without breaking a sweat, the one that had sent Logan into gay panic mode, was walking up to Logan. He smiled a half smirk, half smile, and Logan almost froze right then and there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!   
> I hope you liked this chapter! I appreciate kudos and comments, let me know what you thought! What did you like, what did you not like, I want to hear it!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Much love and gratitude,   
> Turtle


	4. Freeze Your Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finally gets to talk more with the new and mysterious kid.

The boy walked over to Logan, who was holding the corn nuts and staring. 

“Greetings and salutations,” the boy said, his voice smooth and making Logan melt a little. “Want a Slurpee with that?” He asked, indicating to the corn nuts that Logan was clutching tightly. 

Logan shook his head slightly, reprimanding himself for staring. “No thank you, but if you’re nice, I’ll take a soda.” 

The boy made a face. “That’s like going to McDonald’s and ordering a salad. Slurpee is the signature dish of the house.” He walked over to the Slurpee machine, followed by Logan. “Would you like a cherry or lime?” 

“Neither, I said I’ll have a soda.” The boy sighed and got Logan his soda.

“Thank you. I’m Logan by the way. Are you ever going to tell me your name?” The boy headed back to the Slurpee and got himself a cherry flavored one. 

“I’ll end the suspense for ya’. The name’s Remus Dean.” Remus smiled at Logan and quickly paid for the drinks, adding Roman’s corn nuts to this purchase. 

“So, that fight in the caf’ today was pretty severe,” Logan commented, taking a sip of his soda.

“Well, I find that the severe always seems to make a lasting impression.” Logan laughed awkwardly, unsure of how to respond, thinking for a moment on how to keep the conversation alive. 

“So, what’s a Baudelaire-quoting, badass like you doing in Sherwood, Ohio?” Logan asked.

“My dad’s work, we move around a lot. He owns a deconstruction company.” Remus took a long sip of his Slurpee, leaning against the counter.

“Deconstruction?” Logan asked, raising an eyebrow. Remus nodded.

“Well, the old man seems to enjoy tearing things down. You’ve seen the commercial? ‘My name’s Big Bud Dean, if it’s in the way, I’ll make your day.’”

Logan laughed. “And then he pushes the plunger and blows up the screen, yeah I know the commercial. That’s your dad?”

“Yup, in all of his semi-psychotic glory.” 

“Hey, nobody’s life is perfect. Everybody’s got some static.” 

Outside, Logan heard a car horn blare and someone yell his name. Roman was calling for him to hurry up. Logan grimaced.

“For example, I don’t really like my friends,” Logan said, nodding his head towards the car.

Remus nodded. “I don’t really like your friends either. You know what you should do? Ditch the party, hang out here. Much more fun.” 

Logan tried to keep from laughing. “Ah yes, 7-Eleven, swanky first date.” 

Remus pouted a little. “Hey, I love this place.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, when you move as much as I do, it’s hard to feel like your life is stable. I’ve been to ten high schools, so my family hardly stays in one place for long. But no matter where I go, whether I’m in Los Vegas or Boston, there’s always a 7-Eleven. And they always look basically the same. The aisles with their simple layout, the large Slurpee machine, the bored cashier.” 

He took another sip of his Slurpee, grimacing a moment. 

“Slurpees are my life force. Freezing your brain, it’s what keeps me from going insane. Some teens do drugs, I do frozen drinks.” He held out the drink to Logan. “Care for a hit?” he joked. Logan shook his head.

“And how does your mom feel about you eating all this junk food?” He asked. 

Remus shrugged his shoulders. “She doesn’t care. She doesn’t really get a choice, seeing how she’s dead and all that. It’s just me and my dad, the dysfunctional family. Like I said, Slurpees are the only thing that keeps me from going insane and completely losing it. I have a feeling you're going to need something like it. You seem like the type of boy to go to a college, get married to a lawyer and live unhappily ever after. Better find your coping mechanism now.” 

He held out the Slurpee, shaking it gently until Logan took it and drank from the straw, almost immediately feeling a brain freeze coming on. 

“Good isn’t it?” Remus asked, taking his drink back. Logan nodded, smiling, his tongue dyed bright red from the Slurpee. 

The door opened and the bell rang. Logan could almost feel the air of annoyance that Roman radiated as he stalked over to where Logan and Remus were standing. 

“Logan, do you have the corn nuts?” he asked, ignoring Remus.

“Yeah, they’re right here.” Logan waved the small bag of BQ corn nuts. Roman took them. 

“Wave goodbye to tall, dark and brooding, we have a party to be at,” Roman said, headed towards the car. 

“Well, I must go,” Logan said, trying to repress the disappointment he felt. 

Remus shrugged. “So I see. Enjoy your party I guess.” He waved goodbye as Logan followed Roman out the door and watched as the car full of three Sanders and a Sawyer drove off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!   
> This is probably the shortest chapter I've ever written, reaching 811 words. But that's fine, I knew that the chapters would be slightly on the short side.   
> Anyways, JD! Or in our case, Remus!   
> I hope you liked it!  
> Much love and gratitude,   
> Turtle


	5. Big Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ram's Homecoming Party and the chaos that ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a reminder that Patton is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns
> 
> tw: lots of drinking, drugs, slight sexual content, vomit, cursing

At Ram’s house, Kurt and Ram were trying to get ready for the party, which meant getting the adults out of the house. 

“Okay Ram, I know you guys want to have a fun party, but try to keep things under control,” Ram’s father said. “If the neighbors complain about too much, Paul and I will come and set you straight.” Paul was Kurt’s dad.

“Dude, chill. We understand,” Ram said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m your father, not a dude.” 

Paul turned to his son. “That goes double for you Kurt. You’re a guest at Bill’s house, so you’ll treat it with respect or so help me god.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it!” Kurt said, shoving his father towards the door. The two adults said goodbye to the teens.

“You ready to party?” Kurt asked his friend. 

“I’m ready to get wasted, maybe get my dick sucked a few times. How about you?” 

Kurt pulled some beer out of the fridge, “I’m so ready!” 

* * *

The three Sanders plus Logan entered the front door of the Sweeney house, the party already in full swing. The stereo blasted music so loud that it was almost impossible to make out the lyrics. Everywhere teens sang off key and danced terribly, drinks in their hands and all over every available surface. In literally every corner of the room, couples made out and were intimate. 

Logan hadn’t gone to a lot of parties, most people didn’t care to invite him. He took in the entire scene, a mix of disgust and excitement. He had come here to get absolutely wasted, and he knew that this was the right place to do just that. 

Roman led the way through the house, Logan noticing the drunk people in the pool outside, as well as the sound of shouting coming from upstairs. 

“God, I could use a drink,” he said, leading the group to a makeshift bar, where the ingredients for shots and other drinks were scattered on the counter. “Logan, have you ever made a drink before?” Logan shook his head. 

“Oh! I can show you! It’s so much fun!” Patton said. They grabbed Logan’s hand and forced him to watch. 

“Okay, I think I got it!” Logan said, after watching Patton make the shot. “So, it’s salt, lime, and then shot!” Logan grabbed the tiny glass and drained it of it’s contents, his whole body shivering for a moment with the immediate rush from the drink. 

“No, no!” Patton said. They grabbed another shot glass, showing Logan how to make the drink again. They’re words were slightly slurred, seeing as they had already drinken a few shots in the time it had taken Logan to make the one. “It’s salt, then shot-” 

Roman shook his head, “You’re doing it wrong.” Janus groaned in annoyance as he made himself another drink. 

Logan smiled. “Are you sure I’m doing it wrong, because I feel great!” He quickly made himself another drink and drowned it, sighing as his body tingled from the alcohol. 

A random guy stumbled by, stopping a moment to stare at the group. “Logan, you’re looking good tonight,” he purred, clearly drunk out of this mind. He stumbled away, probably to go throw up somewhere. 

Patton giggled as Logan’s mouth shaped itself into an “oh.” He couldn’t believe some random hot guy smiled at him, without completely mocking him. 

“Y’all want some weed?” Someone called from another part of the room. 

Janus stood up. “That’s my cue, time to get high as a kite.” Logan thought about following him and finding out what it felt like, but he decided that he would continue drinking for a few more seconds. 

Logan noticed Kurt and Ram coming into the room with a giant pinata, both of them clearly drunk and high. 

“Listen up everybody!” Kurt yelled. “This week, we have our first game against the Razorbacks! What are we going to do to them!” He asked, waiting for the crowd’s response. A chorus of shouts, most of which were just people yelling profanities, rose in response. Ram held a bat and began to beat the pinata, earning enthusiastic cheers from the crowd, who soon went back to their drinking, making out, and getting high. 

Logan continued to watch Kurt and Ram play with the pinata, throwing it around but being careful not to break it. Ram switched approaches and began to hump the pinata. Logan laughed, reminding himself that Ram was an idiot, and that it should be expected that he’d do dumb and idiotic things.

“Wow, way to show maturity,” Logan overheard Janus say to Ram. Janus held a joint in his hand, watching the football player with disgust. Ram turned to Janus and got in his personal space, beginning to hump Janus. 

“Get off of me you fucking asshole,” Janus said, pushing Ram off of him, only for Ram to return just a few seconds later. 

Logan set down his drink and ran over. “Hey, Ram?” Ram looked at him in half annoyance. “I think I saw some freshmen trying to sneak into the party, over by the pool.” 

Ram growled. “I really hate freshman!” He grabbed Kurt’s arm and the two of them headed out to the backyard.

“You okay?” Logan asked Janus, who practically snarled.

“I didn’t need your help,” he said, flipping Logan off. Logan sighed.

“Thanks Janus, but I don’t really need to throw up right now.” Janus glared at him before stomping away to a different room, away from Logan. 

In the middle of the chaos of the party, almost nobody noticed the front door open as someone joined. Virgil walked in, cringing a little when he saw the drunk people all over the place. Virgil wandered into the living room, where the three Sanders had gathered to play some drinking game. 

“Well look who it is,” Roman said to his two friends. “Virgil Dumptruck in the flesh.” 

Janus laughed. “You know what we should do? We should-” Roman interrupted him. 

“Shut up Sanders!” Janus muttered an apology before grabbing the nearest drink and draining its contents.

“Wait!” Patton said, grabbing the other two’s attention. “Look who just went up to him.” The three watched as Logan approached Virgil, waiting to see what happened next.

“I can’t believe you actually came,” Logan said, feeling incredibly guilty. 

Virgil smiled. “I know, isn’t it exciting! I even brought sparkling cider!” He held up the bubbly drink, showing it to Logan. “I better say hi to Ram, thank him for inviting me!” Logan tried to stop his friend, but Virgil had already skipped over to the football player. 

“Hey Ram!” Virgil said. “I wasn’t planning on coming, but since you took the time to write that note, I thought I might drop by.” Ram looked confused for a minute.

“What note? What the fuck are you talking about? You’re pretty weird, you know that less people would hate you if you at least tried to act normal.” He grabbed the sparkling cider from Virgil, popping it open and putting the rim to his mouth, chugging it. In seconds, he was spitting it out, getting sticky cider all over the place.

“This has no alcohol in it! That’s disgusting!” He shoved the drink back to Virgil. “Were you trying to poison me?” 

Roman walked over, ready to defuse the situation. He held the pinata that Ram had been humping earlier. “Ram, I think it’s time we beat this thing up, show some school spirit. And you know who I think should take the first wack, Virgil!” 

Virgil shook his head. “I don’t think I know this game, someone else should go.” 

Patton bounced over, holding a silk blindfold, their skirt twirling slightly as they stopped in front of Virgil. “Nonsense! You gotta show some school spirit! Lemme blindfold you and then you can beat the shit out of that pinata, imagine it’s the Razorbacks.” 

Patton turned Virgil around and started tying the blindfold. While Patton was busy tying up Virgil’s eyes, Janus quickly grabbed the pinata, and with the help of a few other students, gave it a makeover. In just a few seconds, the pinata that had looked like a pig, now looked like a pig dressed as Virgil. People started laughing and shouting Virgil’s name. 

Logan walked over and angrily snatched the pinata away from the three Sanders.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Janus hissed. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Logan shot back. “If you want the pinata, go swim for it!” He threw the paper machete pig in the pool, making sure it was too far for them to just reach over and grab. 

Virgil looked around, confused and still blindfolded. “What’s going on?” he asked. Logan pulled the blindfold off of his friend, making sure that Virgil didn’t see the pinata in the pool. 

“I’ll explain later, you should probably head home,” Logan said, leading Virgil to the front door. 

“But I was about to-” Virgil began, before Logan interrupted him. 

“I know, but seriously, please go home.” Virgil nodded and waved goodbye as he headed out the door. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Logan turned around, meeting face to face with Roman Sanders.

“Think of this as my resignation. I refuse to be part of your lipstick Gestapo. I’m going back to my normal life, before I did your dirty work.” 

“No,” was all Roman said. 

“Roman, don’t spin me, I’m not feeling well. I’m going home.” 

“You don’t get to just drop all of this, I won’t let you.” Roman said, blocking Logan’s exit. “I made you who you are, if you leave, you’ll be worse than a nobody, you’ll be an ex-somebody. Not even your old loser friends will want you. You’ll probably have to transfer schools, because nobody here will even look at you.” 

Logan felt sick to his stomach, maybe it was because of what Roman was saying, maybe because he had had a few too many drinks, maybe a mix of the two. But he stumbled forward, vomiting all over Roman. Not on purpose, but it was a plus watching Roman get pissed.

“I have done so much for you and I get paid like this? In vomit?” Roman shouts, looking at his ruined clothing in disgust. 

Logan tried to keep from laughing. “Lick it up baby, lick it up.” 

Roman growled. “You’re dead. Come Monday, you’ll wish you’d never been born.” Roman stomped away, in search for some towels or a spare pair of clothing that he could steal from someone. Logan stumbled out the door, sighing as he inhaled the fresh air. His stomach had settled, he felt calm for a moment. But just a moment. Within seconds, the reality of his situation sunk in. He had just committed social suicide, and the school year had just started. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> So far, this has been the hardest chapter for me to write, but now that it's done, I'm pretty proud of it! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> Much love and gratitude,   
> Turtle


	6. Dead Guy Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan happens upon the house of Remus and Remus lets him in for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life's been kinda busy.   
> I basically rewrote this entire chapter because the original song was a bit too smutty for me to feel comfortable writing it and the one from the movie's was too boring to me. Sorry if you don't like it, I tried my best.

Logan walked down the empty street, his ride still at the party, probably making sure that Logan’s life would be shit when he went back to school on Monday. Logan wanted to scream at himself, but he knew he couldn’t, not in the middle of the night on some unknown street. He looked around, hoping to find some place that he could use as a sign to show him where he was, but all he saw were plain looking houses and street signs that he couldn’t read in the dark. 

Logan noticed a motorcycle parked in front of one of the houses. There was a sign on the lawn that told Logan that the house had recently been bought. The motorcycle was what caught Logan’s eyes, because he vaguely recognized it. It looked like the bike that was parked out in front of the 7-Eleven earlier that evening when he was talking to Remus. He bet that it was Remus’ bike, and since he had no place to go, he went and sat next to the bike. 

“Logan?” Someone called. Logan looked over at the house and saw a window open, and Remus sticking his head out. “What are you doing here?” 

Logan stood up, shaking a little on his feet. “I’m lost. I recognized your bike so I thought I’d sit here until morning. Then maybe you could give me a ride home.” 

Remus motioned for him to come closer to the window. Logan stumbled over, still slightly intoxicated from his night of drinking. 

“Want to come inside?” Remus asked. Logan nodded. 

“Should I climb in through the window?” Logan asked.

“Uhh, I guess.” Logan climbed up onto the window frame and Remus helped him in. In his attempt to climb in, Logan fell forward, accidentally pushing Remus under him as he fell to the floor. 

“Hi,” Remus said, smirking up at him. Logan felt his face turn a bright shade of pink as he struggled to get up. 

“Hello,” Logan said back when he was off of Remus. Remus scooted closer, sitting on the floor so that his knees brushed against Logan’s legs. 

“So, party didn’t go as planned I assume.” 

“I don’t even want to think about it right now,” Logan sighed, staring at Remus. His emotions were going crazy, it was late, he was drunk, and Remus was wearing nothing but a shirt and boxers. 

“Well then, what do you want to think about?” Remus asked. Logan scooted away, turning a bright shade of red.

“Nothing,” he mumbled. Remus smiled knowingly and scooted closer. 

“Nothing? Is that so?” 

Logan tried to keep his gaze on Remus’ face, trying to tell himself that his horniness was because of all the drinking he had done at the party. 

“Logan? Are you okay?” Remus asked, his mini mustache twisting with concern. 

Without answering, Logan decided to take the risk and leaned forward, his face crashing with Remus’ in a chaotic and heated mess. Logan balanced himself by grabbing Remus’ thighs and leaning slightly on the other boy. 

Logan felt Remus’ strong arms wrap around his waist and pull Logan onto his lap. He felt Remus’ tongue lick Logan’s lips gently, practically begging for entrance, to which Logan happily obliged. He let out a small hum as Remus’ tongue forced its way into Logan’s mouth, sighed a little as he tasted the minty flavor from Remus’ toothpaste from earlier that night.

Finally, the two pulled apart to breath. Logan didn’t even try to hide the whine that escaped his slightly swollen lips. Remus laughed a little at Logan’s pout, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

“I’m glad all that flirting at the 7-Eleven wasn’t for nothing," Remus teased, holding Logan as close as was physically possible. 

"That makes two of us," Logan replied, leaning in to plant another quick kiss on Remus' lips.

"So, you went and got yourself lost just for a kiss?" Remus teased, his mouth curling into that shit-eating grin that Logan found so hot and attractive. 

“Well, that’s not exactly the reason I got lost, but now that I’m here, maybe a little more than just a kiss…” Logan’s voice trailed off as his eyes flicked to the bed, then back to Remus’ eyes. Remus didn’t need more than two seconds to figure out what Logan was suggesting. 

“Are you sure? Didn’t you drink at the party? Aren’t you drunk?” He asked. 

“I threw up most of the alcohol at the party, I’m fine!” Logan said. He knew that wasn’t exactly how it worked, but he hoped Remus didn’t know that. 

Apparently Remus didn’t know, or he didn’t care, because the next thing Logan knew, Remus had scooped him up and carried him to the bed, straddling him before their lips met once again.

* * *

Logan woke up to warm, strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close to a bare chest. He hummed contentedly, remembering the night before. Logan looked up and his eyes met Remus’, who was gazing contentedly down at him.

“Good morning,” Remus said. Logan pulled himself closer to Remus, locking lips with the mysterious boy.

“Thank you,” Logan said.

“For what?”

“Last night, and for letting me in your house, and for not being a bitch like everyone at my school.” 

Remus laughed. “That’s a lot of thank you’s. But you’re welcome anyways. How’s your head?” 

Logan didn’t feel too hungover, he felt pretty good in fact. “I’m fine. A little water would be nice though.” Remus slipped out of the bed, being careful not to drop Logan, and left the room to get the water. When he came back, he sat next to Logan on the bed. 

“So, obviously last night’s party didn’t go well, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up in my yard,” Remus said as Logan sat up. Logan sighed and explained all that had transpired the night before, including the part where Roman told him that he would be socially ruined. 

“I’m glad that I found your house, even by accident. Monday is going to be hell on earth.” 

Remus thought for a moment. “We could get back at Roman before he gets a chance to ruin you.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You said he was drinking last night?” Logan nodded. “Well he’s bound to have a hangover, and a bad one from the sounds of it. So I say we go to visit him, give him a “hangover cure” that will actually make him sick to his stomach, and give him something to mortify him for eternity. It’s not the best plan, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind.” Remus gave Logan another one of his shit-eating grins. Logan smirked back.

“Sounds fun. I’m in.”

“How do you feel about riding on a motorcycle? I’d love to take a cute boy on a ride for some adventure!” Remus said, grabbing Logan’s hand and pulling him out of bed.

“Sounds exhilarating!” Logan exclaimed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was quite a struggle to write ngl. But I'm glad that I can at least say that I tried.   
> I don't have a lot of comments, so please let me know what you think! Usually I don't ask for comments but since this chapter took a lot of rewriting, I'm curious to know if you guys think it was worth it.   
> Much love and gratitude,  
> Turtle


	7. The Me Inside of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Remus go to pull their prank on Roman, which turns out to be much more dramatic than they anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you know anything about Heathers, you know what's about to happen. If you don't know, well, let's just say that there's a major character death in this chapter.  
> Roman's "suicide note" is in italics, so it'll be easy to recognize as writing. 
> 
> Tw: death, cursing

Logan clung on tightly to Remus’ waist as they drove towards Roman Sanders’ house. Logan had never ridden a motorcycle and now that he was finally doing it, he loved it. Remus seemed to be enjoying the sounds of Logan’s little giggles as they sped down the near empty streets. 

“That one!” Logan said, pointing to a large house. “That’s Roman’s!” Remus pulled up in front, turning off the motor and propping the bike up. 

Logan stood outside for a moment. “Maybe I should go in alone. Instead of pulling a prank, just apologize and try to fix everything. He wants me to keep writing notes, he’ll take me back.” 

Remus shook his head. “That sounds like a terrible idea. Don’t you want a world where you aren’t being controlled by a Sanders?”  
Logan shook his head. “I’m not strong like you or him. I can’t stand up against him.” 

“Let me come with you then. Moral support.” Remus wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, pulling Logan close. Logan stood on his toes to plant a quick kiss on Remus’ lips before the two of them searched for a way into the house. 

The back door was unlocked, so they quietly slipped in. The couple headed to the bright red door, clearly Roman’s room. They slipped in, waking up Roman in the process. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Roman asked, tired and annoyed.

“I came to apologize.” Logan shuffled around, clearly uncomfortable. Remus stayed in the corner of the room, out of sight of the still sleepy Roman. 

“Well then, go to the kitchen and make me a Prairie Oyster. Then we’ll talk about forgiveness.” Roman flopped back onto his pillows, clutching his head from his hangover.

Logan slipped out of the room, followed closely by Remus. The two headed to the kitchen, searching around for the ingredients for the hangover cure.

“Okay, so what if I just spat in his hangover cure?” Logan suggested, knowing it sounded dumb. “There’s my revenge, and he’ll never know, so life can go back to normal.” Logan started pouring the ingredients together while Remus searched under the sink. When he came back up, he was holding a bottle of bright blue drain cleaner. 

“I’m more of a no-rust build up kind of man, if you get what I’m saying,” He said, shaking the bottle. Logan rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t be a dick, we can’t give Roman that. That’ll kill him!” 

“Well if he’s dead, he won’t have a hangover. Best cure ever.” Logan took the drain cleaner from Remus’ hands.

“Roman would never drink this! Look at the color! He’s not that much of an idiot.” 

Remus grabbed a mug from the cabinet and put a special lid on it. “Then give it to him in this!” He took the drain cleaner back and dramatically poured it into the mug. “He won’t look too closely if there’s a lid on it!” 

Logan hesitated, as if contemplating poisoning the groaning boy in the other room. He watched Remus for a minute, before shaking his head. 

“You’re not being funny Remus,” Logan said, finishing the Prairie Oyster and spitting into it. Remus sets the mug with the drain fluid down, walking over to Logan.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hugging Logan and kissing him gently. Logan kissed him back.

“Logan! Where’s my Prairie Oyster?” Roman shouted from the other room, growing impatient. Logan groaned, grabbing the mug and headed to the other room, giving Remus one more kiss on his way out. Remus smiled and looked down at the counter, realizing that Logan had grabbed the wrong mug, Logan was about to give Roman the drain cleaner.

“Logan?” Remus called, staring at the mug. Logan turned around.

“Yes?” 

“Nevermind, it’s nothing,” Remus lied, shaking his head slowly. 

Logan opened the bedroom door, walked over to the bed and greeted Roman. 

“Good morning Roman!” He said through a fake smile.

“Logan, and I see you brought tall, dark and mysterious with you. Can’t say I’m surprised. Now, you better start begging.” 

“Well, I know we said a lot of things last night, and-” Roman shushed Logan.

“I’d prefer that you’d do it the right way. On your knees, that type of begging. Especially since your man is here.” Remus let out a low growl that Roman either didn’t hear or just ignored. 

Logan sighed and got on his knees, prepared to continue begging. Roman looked smug, too smug. Remus had enough. He grabbed the mug from Logan’s and held it out towards Roman. Roman glared at him but took it.

“While I’m drinking this, I expect you to beg. Right now, you’re still dead to me,” Roman said to Logan. Logan began his apology, saying every word through his teeth, while Roman took a big drink from the mug. 

Suddenly, Roman was coughing, gasping for breath. Logan stopped to grab the other boy and try to help, but Roman pulled away from him. 

“Corn nuts,” he whispered, before crashing to the floor. Logan screamed.

“Call 911!” Logan told Remus. Remus shook his head and put his hands in his pocket. 

“I think it’s a little too late for that. He’s dead.” 

Logan ran his fingers through his hair, tugging. “No, no no. I just killed my best friend!” 

“And your worst enemy.” 

“Same difference! Oooh, the police are going to think that I did this on purpose! Goodbye Harvard, I’ll be sending my SAT scores to San Quentin!” 

Remus looked around the room and noticed a notepad.

“You said that you forged letters for Roman, right? Do what you’re good at.” 

“You’re telling me to forge a suicide note?” Logan looked bewildered, like he was struggling to process everything at once.

“It’s either that or jail time darling. I can help you write a note if you need some creative ideas. Just work with me here Logan.” Remus forced a pen in Logan’s hand and placed the notepad in front of him. 

Together, the two sat down and wrote a note, giving Roman depth, a reason not to live. Once they finished, Logan read the note aloud.

_ Dear World, _

_ “Believe it or not, I knew about fear, _ _  
_ _ I knew the way loneliness stung. _ _  
_ _ I hid behind smiles and crazy hot clothes; _ _  
_ _ I learned to kiss boys with my tongue.” _

_ “But oh, the world, it held me down…” _

_ “It weighed like a concrete prom queen crown.” _

Logan shivered. In his mind, he could hear the words in Roman’s voice. He looked over at the body, reminding himself that it was just his imagination. Roman was dead, he couldn’t be speaking. He continued to read. 

_“No one thinks a pretty boy has feelings._ _  
_ _No one gets his insecurity._ _  
_ _I am more than platform shoes and makeup._ _  
_ _No one sees the me inside of me.”_

  
  


Logan shivered again. He knew what Roman would say if he heard what Logan had written. Roman would complain, saying that he made him sound like air supply. But that was all Logan could come up with, he had to give Roman some depth to make his “suicide” make sense. Logan continued to read.

_“They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique,_ _  
_ _They wouldn't dare look in my eyes._ _  
_ _But just underneath was a terrified boy,_ _  
_ _Who clings to his pillow and cries._ _  
_ _My looks were just like prison bars._ _  
_ _They've left me a myriad of scars.”_

_ No one thinks a pretty boy has substance. That's the curse of popularity. _

_ I am more than just a source of blowjobs. _

_ No one sees the me inside of me.  _

_Box up my clothing for Goodwill,_ _  
_ _And give the poor my Nordic Track._ _  
_ _Donate my car to crippled kids,_ _  
_ _Or to those ghetto moms on crack._ _  
_ _Give them my hats and my CDs,_ _  
_ _My pumps, my flats, my three TVs!_  
_No one thinks a pretty boy has feelings-_ _  
_ _But I weep for all I failed to be._ _  
_ _Maybe I can help the world by leaving._ _  
_ _Maybe that’s the me inside of me."_  
  
  


Logan signed the letter, using Roman’s fanciest signature, one last flourish, a touch of the real Roman. The real Roman who was dead, the real Roman that Logan had killed.

Remus nodded. “That’s as good as it’s going to get. We need to plant the note and leave before he’s found and people put two and two together. Come on.” He grabbed Logan’s hand and dragged him away. 

That day, Roman’s “suicide” was all over the news. Logan couldn’t escape hearing about it. Patton called him to cry, claiming that they wished they had been a better friend to Roman, then maybe he wouldn’t have killed himself. Janus went on any and every local news station that was covering Roman’s death, claiming that the two were as thick as thieves, basically siblings in how close they were. Janus was using Roman’s death to elevate himself socially, but the one who’s social life benefited the most from the death was Roman. Suddenly, everybody cared about him, even if they hadn’t in the past. People claimed that they used to date him, to go out shopping with him, to give fashion tips to him. If they had a chance to claim a connection to Roman, they took it and used it to make themselves feel better, which meant Roman went from being the most popular kid in school to the most popular kid in town. 

It disgusted Logan, but he kept his mouth shut and his head down. All over the news, pictures of Roman’s face reminded Logan of what he had done. Logan kept reminding himself that it was an accident, that he didn’t mean to kill Roman. And now Roman had committed suicide, as far as the rest of the world was concerned.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!  
> I only made one change to Roman's suicide note, so basically his note is just the song.  
> Originally, in the musical, JD, or Remus in this case, just sits back and lets Logan (Veronica) give Roman (Heather M) the drain cleaner. In the movie, he tricks Heather (Roman) into drinking it. I decided to mix the two to really drive the point that Remus was sick of watching Logan get treated like shit, so he stepped in to speed the process along.  
> Note: I don't think this really needs to be said, but please don't go around poisoning people or drinking poison. Not fun.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Much love and gratitude,  
> Turtle


	8. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan meets Remus' dad  
> Patton calls on Logan for some "help"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: drinking, underage drinking, sexual implications, mentions of rape
> 
> reminder: Patton is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns  
> Logan's diary entries are italicized so that it's easier to read.

Remus took Logan back to his house, to get away from everything. School had been cancelled in honor of Roman. Logan sat on the couch, watching the tv, listening to Janus drone on about how close he and Roman were to yet another reporter. Remus sat next to Logan, his arm draped around Logan’s shoulders in a protective yet lazy sort of manner. 

As they sat there, Logan’s fear and hatred for everything building up inside him, the front door opened. An older man walked in the room, he looked a lot like Remus but with more of that spark behind his eyes, the spark that had gotten Roman killed. He was tall and well built, a little well built for Logan’s comfort. Logan couldn’t place his finger on exactly what it was, but something about the man scared him. 

Remus smiled up at the man. “Well hey there champ! Didn’t hear ya come in.” 

The man smiled and walked over to the fridge. “Hey pops! I wanted to introduce you to my new boyfriend.” Ah, so that’s what it is, Logan thought. They’re pretending to be each other.

Logan stood up and held out his hand. “Hello sir, I’m Logan.” Remus’ dad didn’t even look at Logan’s hand, instead offering him a cold can of beer. 

“Drink up handsome,” he said, shaking the beer slightly, waiting for Logan to take it. Logan pulled his hand back and shook his head.

“Sorry, um, it’s too early.” 

Remus stood up. “Hey champ, we don’t condone underage drinking in this house.” Remus’ dad smirked.

“Ah, so you’re one of those good boys then,” He said to Logan, popping open the beer can and drinking from it himself. 

“I think Logan was just headed out.” Remus placed his hand around Logan’s waist, almost in a protective manner. 

Mr. Dean shrugged. “He doesn’t have to do that, sit down, relax. I’m just having some fun.” Remus looks at Logan, waiting to see what he wants to do. Awkwardly, Logan sits back down on the couch. Remus follows suit. Mr. Dean also sits down on the couch, just on the other side of Logan. 

“So, work was a real pain in the ass today. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches is trying to stop my poor old dad from blowing up this fleabag motel, all because Glenn Miller once took a dump there. Just like Kansas. You remember Kansas?” Mr. Dean asked, drinking from his can of beer.

Remus nodded, still keeping his arm around Logan. “Yeah, I remember Kansas.” 

“The save the memorial oak society. My pop showed those tree humpers. Thirty bricks of C4 explosives stuck to the trunk. He was-”

Together, Remus and his dad finished the sentence. “Arraigned but acquitted.” Logan sat, listening in silence. Mr. Dean laughed, but Remus didn’t seem all that amused.

“Damn Kansas,” he muttered under his breath. Logan looked up at his boyfriend, a hint of concern mixed with confusion. 

Mr. Dean finished his beer can, tossing it into the trash can as if it were a basketball and the can was the net. He turned to Remus again. “Yeah, Kansas was a hell of a time. Hey, pops, can I invite my girlfriend over for dinner?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“No, I don’t really think that’s a good idea, Son.” 

Mr. Dean scoffed. “Ah come on Pops, don’t be such a square.” 

Logan cleared his throat. “Actually, I should probably be headed home. My mom’s making my favorite meal tonight, spaghetti with lots of oregano, and she’ll expect me to be home soon.” 

Remus gave Logan a quick peck on the lips, a goodbye kiss. “Ah that’s nice,” he said as Logan stood to leave. “Last time I saw my mom, she was waving from a library window in Texas, right Dad?” Mr. Dean let out a low grumble that sounded like he was agreeing with Remus. 

Logan nodded and saw himself out, headed back to his home, which was much easier to find now that he was sober and it was day time.

* * *

Logan sat at his desk, writing in his diary before bed. 

_ Dear Diary, _

_ For one thing, Remus’ father will not be speaking at our wedding. _

Suddenly, Logan’s phone rang. He grabbed it and held it up to his face. “Hello?” 

Patton’s voice came in from the other side. “Logan? Oh thank god. Come to the cemetery, it’s an emergency.” They’re voice was laced with something that Logan struggled to identify with the static of the call. Was it concern? Guilt? 

“Patton? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” 

“Just come down, please. Right away.” Logan agreed and grabbed his jacket, headed out the window as to not disturb his parents. 

When Logan got to the cemetery, the first thing he noticed was the car. He ran over and watched as Patton rolled down the window. 

“Hey,” Logan said, waiting for Patton to tell him what’s wrong. 

“Hi,” Patton said meekly. Logan looks around and notices Kurt, passed out on the ground just a few feet away.

“Um, is Kurt okay?” Logan asked.

“Oh, he passed out,” Patton said as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Me and Kurt and Ram and Heather Duke came out to pour a jug of Thunderbird on Heather’s grave. You know, from her homies. But Kurt and Ran drank it all. Then Heather and Ram went off together and Kurt started grabbing me and wouldn’t stop.” 

Logan thought for a minute then spoke up. “Wait, why me? After what happened at the party, why would you call me?” 

Patton turned a bright shade of red and gave a little embarrassed squeak. “Well, that was the deal. If you come, Kurt promised to leave me alone,” they said. 

Logan made a disgusted noise. “So that’s it. You avoid date-rape by what? Offering me up for a date-rape sacrifice?” 

“Well when you put it that way, I guess it does sound kind of ugly.” 

“Well, if that’s it, then I’m leaving. Sorry Patton, you’re nice and everything, but I’m not fucking a guy for you.” Logan turned to go, but stopped when he noticed that Kurt had woken up and was stumbling around. 

“Heyyy Logan,” he said, his words slurred together. “I waited ten whole beers for you. Did you know that it’s rude to keep a guy waiting that long?” He tried to take a step towards Logan, but promptly collapsed on the ground. 

Janus came marching towards the car, his hair and clothes an absolute mess. Ram was following, trying to grab hold of Janus, but he was also drunk and stumbling around. 

“Goddamnit Ram, I said I’m done!” Janus shouted, slipping out of Ram’s grip yet again.

“Aw come one Jan, don’t walk away,” Ram pouted. 

“Sober up idiot. Patton, unlock the car.” Patton does as they are told and lets Janus in. Kurt looks up at all the noise and points to Logan, getting Ram’s attention. Ram turns and notices Logan for the first time, completely forgetting about the two Sanders in the car.

“Hey Logannnn,” Ram said, trying to sound suave. 

Logan fought back a gag. “Ew, you have a left hand, use it. Leave me alone.” 

“Awww don’t talk like that Lo, that’s not very nice!” Kurt said, stumbling as he stood up. 

“Yeah!” Ram agreed. “Don’t you know that you’ll hurt their feelings?” 

Logan’s face twisted in disgust. “Whose feelings? Oh ewww, you aren’t talking about-” 

Ram and Kurt began talking over each other, each word making Logan want to puke, it was disgusting and he wasn’t interested in screwing two horny and drunk guys. 

Logan turned to the car, where the two Sanders were sitting and watching in disgust.   
“Patton let me in! Janus!” Logan said, pulling on the locked door. 

“Do not unlock that door Patton!” Janus said. 

Logan looked around, maybe for something to fight the two football players off with. He noticed a bottle of booze, still half full. He grabbed it and held it up.

“You boys thirsty?” he asked, waving the brown liquid around in the glass bottle. Kurt and Ram made a grab for the bottle, taking turns chugging the alcohol. Logan crept away as they drank, as they collapsed, as they slept on the cold, wet grass. He went home, angry and completely uncomfortable with what he had just went through. 

Climbing back into his bedroom through the window, he went immediately back to his diary. 

_ Dear Diary, _

_ That was a close call. Kurt and Ram are terrible, absolutely disgusting. The only person in Westerburg who could control them was Roman Sanders, and he’s dead. I killed him. _

Logan set down his pen, thinking. In his head, he could almost hear what Roman would have to say about all this. Roman would have told him to have thought about that before killing him. 

_ Okay, so I guess i didn’t technically kill Roman, it was an accident. So why do I feel so guilty? I mean, accidents can happen to anyone. So why do I feel so terrible? _

Logan closed his diary and collapsed on his bed, ready to cry out of frustration and exhaustion. And that’s exactly what he did. Logan Sawyer cried himself to sleep that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> This was an interesting chapter to write, for many reasons. I don't like Mr Dean, so I didn't really enjoy writing him. The actual "Blue" scene was interesting to write, I kept having to take breaks so I wouldn't punch something. But I'm proud with how it turned out and thankful that I won't have to write this chapter again.   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter for the most part and thank you for reading!  
> Much love and gratitude, Turtle


	9. Our Love Is God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Ram have a story about Logan that the whole school is obsessed with, regardless of whether it's true or not. Remus has a plan of revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are a lot of tw in this chapter.   
> guns, murder, sex mentions, cursing, suicide mention. let me know if i forgot any!  
> Take care of yourself!

The night didn’t last long enough for Logan, the sun shone and the birds sang of a new day. A day that Logan didn’t really feel like being a part of. Today was the first day of school since Roman’s death. 

Logan walked through Westerburg High’s hallways, hearing people talk, every time Roman’s name was mentioned felt like a stab to the heart to Logan. He heard Janus and Patton talking and walked over to see what they were up to. He found the two remaining Sanders at Roman’s locker, Janus shifting through it and throwing stuff into a box on the ground. 

“Oh hey guys,” Logan said, his voice dripping venom. “Still waiting for that apology for both of you being absolute bitches last night.” Patton looked down at their feet, embarrassed but Janus just rolled his eyes. 

“Excuse me, I’m cleaning Roman’s locker. Show a bit of respect Logan,” He said, throwing a notebook into the box without even looking inside it. 

In the back of Logan’s head, he could hear what Roman would have to say. It was almost like Roman’s ghost was haunting Logan, even though Logan didn’t believe in ghosts. It was driving Logan insane, hearing Roman’s commentary on everything, even though Roman was dead. It was like Roman was saying that Janus was such a poser, and that he wanted Janus to stop touching his stuff. 

Logan tugged at his hair, mumbling under his breath, “Shut up Sanders.” Janus whipped around, apparently hearing Logan. 

“I won’t shut up, I’m sick of being told to shut up.” Out of the locker, Janus pulled out Roman’s favorite blazer, and admired it for a second. 

“It’s a nice color,” Janus mused, slipping off his own green blazer and replacing it with Romans. “I think it suits me, don’t you Patton?” 

Patton’s eyes widened in shock. “But that’s Roman’s blazer.” 

Janus scoffed. “Shut up Sanders.” The tone startled Logan. Janus had said it almost exactly the same way Roman used to say it to Janus, as if he was becoming Roman and now Patton was his Janus, the one to mock and torment. 

Patton shrunk into themself, apologizing in a meek voice. Logan felt a wave of anger directed at Janus well up in him, but it was quickly quelled when Remus came over and casually slung his arm around Logan’s shoulder. 

“Look, Roman Sanders is gone, there’s a hole in the delicate society of high school. As his best friend, it’s my job to fill that hole,” Janus said, adjusting his shirt so that the red blazer was the center of attention. 

“Hold up,” Logan said, trying not to laugh. “You want to replace Roman Sanders?” To Logan, the idea was a laugh and a half. Roman was the mythical bitch for a reason, and nobody, especially Janus Sanders, could fill his platform shoes and not make a fool of themself. 

“Oh please, you have bigger things to worry about than me,” Janus said. Logan raised his eyebrow, confused on what Janus was saying. “Kurt and Ram are telling everybody in the school about your threeway last night.” 

Remus’ eyebrows shot up and he tossed a glance at Logan, who looked just as confused. 

“What are you talking about? There was no threeway last night, nothing happened.” 

Janus feigned confusion. “Oh really? That’s not what I remember happening.” 

Kurt and Ram burst into the hallway, rounding on a group of teens and telling them about what had supposedly happened last night. From where they stood, Logan and Remus could easily hear what the two jocks were saying. 

“And we had a sword fight, in his mouth.” Logan fought back a physical gag when the words reached his ears. Students asked questions interestedly, wanting to know all the gossip.

Remus growled. “I’m assuming this is a bunch of bullshit.” 

“Of course it is! I have way better taste than those two assholes first of all!” Logan said. Logan was a mixture of furious, embarrassed, and depressed. 

Janus stopped shifting through Roman’s old locker when Kurt and Ram came over, smiling up at them. Remus looked ready to pounce on the two football players, but Logan held him back. 

Kurt and Ram told the whole made up story again, not caring that Logan was right there. Janus smiled coldly, maintaining eye contact with Logan the entire time. Once Kurt and Ram had left to tell the next group, Janus spoke up. 

“Well, how does it feel to be the school slut Logan?” He asked, playing with the sleeves of the red blazer. “Two at once? I bet you’ll do anything, for anyone.” Janus’ eyes flicked over to Remus, then to the crowded hallway. Patton’s eyes stayed on the floor, their hands tugging at the hem of their cheer uniform, playing with the skirt. Janus elbowed Patton, who looked up and mimicked Janus’ cold grin. 

“Poor Logan, you’re slutty little secret it out,” they said, the edge of their words not as sharp and hurtful as Janus’ were. Janus smiled and tugged on Patton, pulling them away from Logan and Remus. 

“I’ll fight them, every last person in this school,” Remus said. “They’re all assholes.” 

“You can’t do that, that’s unreasonable,” Logan said, wiping his face with the sleeve of his blue blazer. 

“Then what do you want me to do? Just let them continue to treat you like this?” Remus asked. Logan turned and hugged Remus, burying his face in Remus’ chest. That seemed to calm the taller boy down, and he spent the next few minutes comforting Logan. 

The bell rang, summoning the students to class. Logan let go of Remus and cleared his throat. 

“Sorry. We should head to class.” Remus nodded, kissing Logan’s forehead as he headed down the hall. Logan watched him go before turning and heading to his own class. The short trip there was unbearable, people stopping to call him a freak, shoving their shoulders into him, making crude hand motions and other things. Logan hated it. But he fought back all of his emotions, deciding to just try and make it through the day for now. Hopefully by tomorrow, everyone would forget. 

For most of the day, it was easy to zone out and ignore all the cruel jokes and bullying. Just focus on his schoolwork, then head home. As the last bell rang, signalling the end of the day, Logan grabbed his bag and headed straight for the exit. He only stopped when he saw Remus, but Remus didn’t seem to see him. Remus looked like a man on a mission, headed down the hallway with a look of determination. Logan watched Remus walk up to Kurt and Ram, ready for a fight. Logan remembered their last fight, how smoothly Remus had beaten them. But this time Remus didn’t seem as calm and relaxed, and Kurt and Ram seemed pretty indifferent. Within seconds, Remus was on the ground and Kurt and Ram were nowhere to be seen. 

Logan rushed over, dropping down to make sure Remus was okay.

“Are you hurt? Can you look at me? Are you okay?” He asked. Remus dusted off his pants and helped Logan up. 

“I’m fine. The better question is how are you holding up?” Remus took Logan’s hand and led him out the doors. Logan thought about the question for a moment before sobbing. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying, it’s dumb,” he said, trying to stop.

Remus shushed him gently. “No, you have every right to feel this way. Come on, let’s get you home.” Remus guided Logan to Logan’s car, where the two of them got in and drove to Logan’s home. 

Remus let Logan just sit on the bed and cry. He cried until he had no more tears. 

“I’m sorry about the waterworks,” Logan said, grabbing a glass of water after calming down. Remus reached over and gently held Logan’s chin, looking him in the eyes.

“Do not apologize, they’re the ones that made you cry. They’re the ones who should be paying. Hell, they’re going to pay, if I have my way.” He let go of Logan’s face, lost in thought. “This world is so fucked up, so messed up. But you’re not, you’re perfect Logan.” 

Logan looked over at Remus, so thankful for his boyfriend, who was so protective of him. “Are you okay?” He asked when he noticed that Remus was lost in thought. 

Remus looked over. “Logan Sawyer, before I met you I had nothing, no one. I was like this frozen lake and you, you and your sweet smile, melted me. I’m not alone now, and I don’t plan on letting you feel alone.” Remus crawled back onto the bed, leaning forward so that his lips connected with Logan’s. Just a soft brush, enough for Logan to get a small taste of Remus but not enough for it to qualify as a real kiss. 

Remus’ forehead met Logan’s. Logan closed his eyes and leaned in, a feeling of contentment rushing over him. He would hear Remus whisper and opened his eyes to look at the other boy. 

“Our love is god,” was all that Remus said before climbing off the bed and headed for the door. 

“Where are you going?” Logan asked, confused and disappointed.

Remus stood in the door frame, admiring Logan. “I just have to run out and grab a few things, then I’ll be right back. Wait here.” Logan watched him leave and waited for his return.

When Remus came back, he carried a bag that he threw on the bed. He began to pull stuff out, energy drinks, a playboy magazine, and a notepad. 

“What’s all this stuff?” Logan asked, sitting up in his bed. 

“I have an idea,” Remus said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out a pistol. Logan’s eyes widened. 

“Is that real?” Logan whisper asked.

“Do you take German?” Remus asked, ignoring Logan’s question for a moment.

“No, I take French. But why does that matter?” 

“Just need to know how much I’m explaining to you? Yes, the gun is real, but we’ll be filling it with  ich lüge  bullets. They’re bullets that my grandfather scored in Germany. They don’t kill, just pierce the skin and release a type of poison that puts you in a temporary coma, one that makes you look like you’re dead. The Nazis used them to fake their own suicides when the Russians invaded Berlin. We’re going to use them to make laughingstocks out of Kurt and Ram by faking their suicide.” 

“Kurt and Ram would never kill themselves, anybody could tell you that.” Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes at the very idea.

“They would if they had a reason,” Remus smirked, indicating to the bag of random objects. “All these things are common for the heterosexual male of any town. This place is different, so I thought if we made it look like Kurt and Ram didn’t think they’d be accepted because they fell in love with a girl, then it would make sense.” 

Logan held the energy drink in his hand, feeling the cold metal can. “I guess that could work.” 

“There’s just one thing I need you to do so we can get them in a secluded place for this. You can say no, but we need to draw them out.” Logan knew instantly what Remus was asking. He nodded and grabbed his phone, calling Ram’s home. 

Ram picked up the phone almost immediately and asked who was calling. 

“Hey Ram, it’s Logan.” Logan tried to sound as calm and flirtatious as possible without gagging. “All those things you said about me today, how did you know that I always dreamed about them? It’s a fantasy of mine.” Remus was on the bed, silently laughing. 

On the other side of the line, Ram struggled with what to say. “Um, lucky guess?”

“Well, if you want to help me make it come true, for real this time, you and Kurt meet me in the cemetery at dawn, for a little fun.” Logan hung up the phone and immediately fell back onto the bed, letting out a sigh. Remus came over and kissed his forehead before kissing his lips gently. 

“I’ll be there to make sure everything goes to plan, they won’t hurt you.” Logan kissed Remus back before sitting up and working on the suicide note.

* * *

Logan wished he had brought a jacket with him. The air at the cemetery was cool and crisp. It was still dark out, though the sky was beginning to lighten. Remus was nearby, hiding behind one of the trees, out of sight. Logan felt the cold metal of the pistol that Remus had given him against his skin, hidden under his shirt with the  ich lüge  bullets already loaded inside the barrel. 

Kurt and Ram weren’t subtle in their entrance. They made a lot of noise as they walked towards Logan. 

“Hey Logan, hi,” Ram said. Logan waved, trying not to laugh as Kurt waved back. 

“So, do we just whip it out?” Kurt asked, already reaching for his belt. 

Logan shook his head. “Take it easy, I’ve made circles in the dirt for you to stand in.” He waited until the two football players were in the dirt circles. “Now strip for me,” he said. Logan watched as Kurt and Ram took off all of their clothing, left in nothing but their socks and underwear. He pretended to admire them, but really, he felt like laughing at them.

“Uh, what about you?” Kurt asked, nodding to Logan, who was still fully dressed. 

Logan played with his shirt. “Well, I was kinda hoping you could rip them off of me, sport.” Logan enunciated the sport, looking through his eyelashes. He could tell that Kurt and Ram were enjoying this. Logan couldn’t wait to see their surprised looks when they went back to school, the laughingstock of the entire student body. 

“On the count of three..” Logan’s hand slipped underneath his shirt, gripping the gun. Kurt and Ram were practically bouncing in horniness and excitement. 

“One, two,” Logan began. Suddenly Remus stepped out behind the tree and finished the count.

“Three,” he said before firing his gun, shooting Ram in the chest. Logan aimed at Kurt but missed, who immediately took off running towards the gates, still in nothing but his socks and underwear. 

“Shit,” Remus said. “Stay here, I’ll get him.” Remus took off after Kurt, gun in hand. Logan dropped his gun, his body shaking from the rebound on the pistol. He didn’t like the feeling that came with firing it. His eyes drifted over to Ram, who was bleeding out from the bullet entry wound. Something didn’t seem right, so he walked over to check. 

“Ram, are you asleep?” He asked, knowing that even if he was, Ram couldn’t answer. 

Logan checked for a pulse, but there was none. “No, no, no. Please just be asleep. Ram? Ram!” He shouted, shaking the dead body of Ram Sweeney. 

At the entrance of the cemetery, Kurt was trying to climb the locked gate. Remus was a few feet behind him, reloading the pistol and taking aim. 

Logan was sobbing when he heard the gunshot, heard the sound of something heavily falling to the ground. He knew that Remus had found Kurt, that Kurt was dead. Just like Ram, just like Roman. He could hear Remus drag the body back and set up the props, for the fake suicide. 

Remus walked over to him, trying to pull Logan off of Ram’s dead body. 

“What the fuck have you done?” Logan shouted between sobs, fighting Remus. 

Remus stopped pulling and sat down on the dirt next to him, sighing as he did. “I protected you. They hurt you and I was never going to let them do that again. I worship you Logan, I love you so fucking much. Our love is God.” 

Those words, those four words that originally seemed like music to Logan, a promise from Remus to him. Now he didn’t know what to think of them. 

“Come on, before the police arrive. I’m sure someone heard the gunshots and we can’t be here when they get here.” Remus gently pulled Logan to his feet and guided him out of the cemetery, all the time whispering his promise to Logan. 

“Our love is God.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody!  
> I think this is probably the longest chapter in this story, it definitely took me a while to write it. I kept having to take breaks, there is a lot going on here and sometimes it can be a bit much.   
> I hope you enjoyed it! I can't believe we aren't even halfway through the story and already we've reached three of the big deathes in the story. Wow.   
> For those of you who don't know, ich lüge is German for "I lie." I know, right?   
> Anyways, Thank you for reading and I seriously hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Turtle


	10. My Dead Straight Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Ram's funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Took me long enough...  
> I don't think there's any tw I need to mention other than they meet in a church, but let me know if you see something else!

It was suicide, that was the official decision of the police. Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly, double suicide because of a girl. Everyone was shocked, to say the least. Logan Sawyer was numb. He couldn’t tell anyone the truth, so he just bottled it up, allowing the lack of emotions to wash over him. 

Logan sat in his room, writing in his diary. He hadn’t seen Remus in a while, Logan had been avoiding his boyfriend. 

_ Dear Diary,  _

_I'm going steady._ _  
_ _Mostly he's awesome,_ _  
_ _If a bit too rock and roll._ _  
_ _Lately he's bumped off,_ _  
__Three of my classmates._ _  
_ _God have mercy on my soul._ _  
_ _They were just seventeen._ _  
_ _They still had room to grow._ _  
_ _They could've turned out good._ _  
_ _But now we'll never know._

Logan jumped, dropping the pen when he heard a noise outside his window. Turning, he saw Remus climbing into the room.

“There’s been a severe lack of handsome guys at my window,” Remus teased, leaning against the wall.

“Take a hint then,” Logan spat, turning so that he wasn’t facing Remus. Remus sighed and walked over, kneeling down so that he was at eye level with Logan, who was still seated. 

“You’re mad at me, I get that. But Lo, you wanted them dead too.” Remus reached to take Logan’s hand, but Logan pulled back sharply.

“I did not!” 

“Did too.” 

“Did not!” 

“Did too!” 

“I didn’t want them dead!” 

Remus rubbed his temples. “Did they make you cry?”

“Well, yes…” 

“Can they make you cry anymore now that they’re dead?” 

“No,” Logan admitted. “But you can.” 

Remus thought about that for a moment. He stood back up and sat on Logan’s bed. 

“Just wait and you’ll see how much good will come from this.”

“You lied to me.” Remus raised an eyebrow. “There’s no such thing as  ich lüge  bullets.” 

“Yes but you lied to yourself as well. You wanted to believe me. Trust me on this Logan, it only gets better from here.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” 

Remus laughed, headed back towards the window to leave. “Call me an optimist then sweetheart. I’ll see you around.” 

Logan turned back around to his diary and wrote just a few words.

_ Dear Diary,  _

_ My teenage bullshit has a body count.. _   


* * *

Logan didn’t know why he went to Kurt and Ram’s joint funeral, he didn’t exactly plan to be there. But something drew him in, until he was sitting in those pews. 

Both Kurt and Ram’s fathers were up on the stage, preparing their speeches that they had prepared. Paul Kelly, Kurt’s dad, was the first to speak.

“I thought that my son and I had a good relationship, we were very close. Apparently that was a lie,” he let out a weak laugh. Paul Kelly looked at the crowd and set down his paper which contained his pre-prepared speech.

“My son was a heterosexual, I never knew that. I feel disgusted, knowing that my son was some breeder. I-” Bill Sweeney, Ram’s father interrupted. 

“Hold on Paul, this is ridiculous.” 

“Bill our sons were fucking straight!” 

“And what of it? Does the fact that your son isn’t like you scare you? Because I don’t care if my son is straight, that’s just who he is!” 

“Do you even hear yourself?” 

“I’ve been doing a lot of praying, and a lot of thinking. And you know what? I love my dead straight son!” 

“We live in a queer community Bill,” Paul Kelly reminded him. 

“And yet we’re so close minded! The rest of the world is the opposite, everyone is straight and the homosexuals are treated as lesser beings. You’d think that a bunch of gay people would be more accepting yet we’re just as bad! This town needs to open itself up!” 

The whole church was in an uproar at this point, arguing about whether Bill Sweeney was right in his words. Logan tuned most of the chaos out, allowing his inner thoughts to flow. 

In Logan’s opinion, Bill Sweeney was perfectly right. Westerberg was supposed to be the city of acceptance, and yet people who were different suffered greatly. Logan thought of Virgil, who had struggled so much because of his size. Virgil was different and that was a bad thing in their school’s little society. Logan couldn’t help but feel disgusted.

When Logan tuned back into reality, everyone had seemed to quiet down. Paul Kelly was standing back up in front of the crowd holding the microphone. He smiled before he spoke.

“I love my dead straight son!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every everybody!  
> I know, short chapter. Honestly, I'm lazy and it's hard to write long chapters based around a single song in a musical, especially songs like this that are just so much filler lyrics. So you get an itty bitty chapter! Sorry...  
> I know I got a question a while back about how I was going to handle this chapter. I did originally plan to go more depth about the prejudice of Westerburg, but I lacked the energy or thought process to do so. I hope I still get my point across and if I don't or if you think I didn't handle the situation well, please, don't hesitate to let me know, point out to me how I can make it better so that I can go back and fix it! That would mean the world to me.  
> Anyways, thank you for reading!   
> Much love and gratitude,   
> Turtle

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!  
> So this is sort of a side project for when I need to take a break from my original Sanders Sides fic. I love Heathers and this idea has been floating around in my head for a while now, so I thought why not?  
> Each chapter is centered around a single song from the musical, so there will be about 20 chapters.  
> Special thanks to my beta reader for this chapter: Dee! I hope that she will continue to beta for this fic! Link to her blog:https://divine-victory.tumblr.com/  
> Anyways, I hope you liked it and I just wanted to thank you for reading!  
> Much love and gratitude,  
> Turtle


End file.
